Roving Reporter Olivia here, back on duty after a LONG spell away from reporting on all things that need reporting on. When Colehaus Cat Patrol Sergeants roamed the floors, they often handled situations before I could arrive on scene; stopping mayhem, squashing shenanigans, breaking up disagreements, corrupting crime scenes with paw prints, fur and whiskers NOT related to the event at hand. Having nothing of substance to report on, I found myself out of a job. I mean, really, who cares about a speck of cheese dropped on the floor or the endless antics of sister Tessa going after the cheese. There’s no serious gossip there. That’s an ordinary daily occurrence!

So, without further adieu . . .

Here’s something that’s been bothering me. There is fur in this water bowl. No one wants to drink out of a furry water bowl. You do see the fur there, floating on top of the water surface, right? It’s not just me, right? And, since I’m reporting this, there’s a speck of something on the floor next to the bowl. Unacceptable. Dad says he’s keeping the place clean while he’s home without a job, but do you believe it? Hmm . . .

Clearly, the Baby’s not helping my case. Just between you and me, she’ll drink out of anything.

And another thing: There is no bird in this birdcage. How is that even possible? What ever would be the point of having a birdcage without a bird in it?

Mom had this old sisal scratcher tucked away somewhere. She said it was new, never used. We put that rumor to rest.

Somekitty, one who likes furry water bowls, allegedly, was caught ripping the “new” scratcher to bits. Or maybe someone else did it and what we’re viewing here is a case of somekitty corrupting a crime scene! Baby, get away from that crime scene!

Perhaps this mousie can tell us who the guilty party is. And speaking of party, just look at his eyes. Completely glazed over. He’s not even standing upright! I don’t think he’s going to be of much help.

Hmm, looks like we won’t get much out of this mousie either. Mum’s the word, apparently. Nice tattoo around the neck, though. Looks like somekitty used him as an after dinner table napkin!

Wait a minute! What’s that?? Who’s sneaking up on me?

Whew! It’s just my brother Quint. He’s okay, a great snuggler, a bit of a sloppy eater but other than moi, who isn’t? Now where was I?

Mom says I have to wrap my report up so I’ll make this fast: Sister Tessa has not one but TWO boxes under the boo-fay next to the heat vent AND SHE WON’T LET ANYONE USE THE OTHER ONE! Whenever anyone tries, the whappy paws come out. And she wonders why no one likes her. Boo-hoo, Tuxie Terror.

Mom: That wasn’t a nice thing to call your sister, Olivia. Regardless of truth.

We’ll agree to disagree, Mom. This has been your roving reporter, Olivia, Teller of Truths, until next time, over and out!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A Colehaus Cats flashback:

2018 – No post
2017 – Multicat Monday
2016 – No post
2015 – Morning Yoga with Tessa
2014 – No post
2013 – Wednesday Whoops!
2012 – Not going to face Monday