I am Gatekeeper Newton, no, MISS Gatekeeper Newton and with my burning, come-hither-if-you-dare stare I will keep all from passing this gateway to steal our flags. Also, from entering this important doorway and treading on this part of the hall within paws reach but not to exceed three feet in either direction except on Fridays when all bets are off.
For I am the Gatekeeper. Up until lunch. Hey, a girl’s gotta eat!