Here at Colehaus Cats, we don’t believe in fights. Oh sure, there might be a bit of hissing and a whap here or there but nothing serious. No, our biggest battles are…The Kissing Wars.
The rules are simple:
1. I, as the aggressor, will prove that I can kiss you first before you can kiss me. If I do, I get a point.
2. Trickery is allowed, however…
3. A show of your teeth signifies biting, not kissing, and you lose a point.
4. I can choose to wave your lost point by touching the top of your head thereby keeping you interested in playing.
5. I lose a point if I kiss anything other than your lips.
6. If you can outmaneuver me and give me a kiss, you gain a point.
7. In the end, we all kiss and everyone wins. Ready to play? Here we go!
With Miss Newton acting as referee, Tessa initiates war with the pre-approved batting signal all kittens instinctively recognize. Referee Newton reminds the warriors of the importance of a level battle field. Use of elevation as an advantage is strictly prohibited.
With both opponents on the floor, each assume their preferred attack positions. Tessa readies for her first smooch…but then retreats. Will Pia take the bait and lose a point?
No! Pia wisely chooses to advance toward Tessa, the aggressor, who cleverly tucks herself behind a fold in the blankie; hidden and yet, with a foot confidently exposed signifying this is a play war, not a real one. Pia playfully paws at the blankie, taunting, taunting…
…and then, certain that Tessa is about to spring a kiss on her, Pia shows her needle-y kitten teeth and loses a point! Oh, Pia!
It is at that moment when Tessa dives in and delivers a kiss square on the lips. Outstanding play! The Score: Tessa – One, Pia – Minus One.
In keeping with the rules and because good sports make good sleeping partners, Tessa eliminates Pia’s lost point with a gentle tap to the top of her head. The Score: Tessa – One, Pia – Zip. Good show, Tessa!
But before Pia can acknowledge Tessa’s act of kindness, Tessa dives in yet again, determined to increase her kiss points. Pia twists in time and…denied! Tessa misses her intended target and smooches a set of pink toe beans instead! The Score: Tessa – Zilch, Pia – Zero.
The tustling is heated now. Tessa flips and rolls over Pia, determined to regain the lead. Pia twists like a worm on a hook, just as determined to keep those lips away. So close, closer, closer…
Masterfully, Tessa flips around again and just as she’s ready to plant a big ol’ smooch, Pia outmaneuvers her and makes contact first! “Gotcha,” she mews. And with a tender paw, the war is declared over and both sides as winners. Final score: Tessa a winner via her skillful moves, Pia a winner via her crafty patience.
Until next time…