Let’s hear it for Kissing Wars, this time with new opponents Miss Newton and Quint! Here at Colehaus Cats, we don’t have fights; we have Kissing Wars. In our last two Kissing Wars, Danger Cat Tessa and Pia Bean battled gallantly and
almost fairly and finished as sweetly as anyone could hope for.
Today’s Kissing War rules are brought to you by Quint:
1. As aggressor, I Quint, challenge my sister, Miss Newton, to plant a sloppy raspberry on my belly. If she can, she gets a point. If I can kiss her belly, I get a point.
2. No trickery is allowed today however…Taunting IS allowed because I said so.
3. Because I have longer legs and because I love my sister, I’ll keep one leg up in the air at all times AND I’ll play with my eyes closed. In return for this handicap, I’ll begin with one point to my advantage.
4. If at any time I open my eyes, Miss Newton gets an automatic point.
5. If at any time I have to open my eyes to see if my sister is still playing, I lose a point.
6. The Kissing War ends with a sloppy raspberry planted on someone’s belly.
Ready to play? Let’s go!
Both opponents on the floor, Quint has added another handicap to his list and has taken the submissive position. As promised, he has one paw in the air and his eyes closed! We can only wonder how that’s going to work out. The score: Quint, as the aggressor – One, Miss Newton – Zero. Ready to pounce, Miss Newton steps forward and mocks, “Prepare to lose and giggle yourself silly, boy…”
Miss Newton steps back and sizes up that soft white belly. Quint waves his paw and coos, “Here’s my belly if you dare, ready for kisses. Don’t mind those pointy bits on my paw.”
Miss Newton surges forward and hopes to distract Quint into opening his eyes by tapping his forehead. “Way off, sister,” Quint says, his eyes clamped shut. “Are you even trying?”
“How about this angle? Any better? Come and get it!” Quint stretches out, mindful to keep that paw in the air and those eyes closed. Miss Newton ponders the unexpected new position.
Switching to a back foot in the air, Quint taunts further. “You aren’t even trying to kiss my belly. I know what you want! You want my foot instead. Here you go, foot-kisser!”
Miss Newton has had just about enough taunting. Without touching him, she stands tall over Quint and softly calls, “Oh, little brother. I have something for you!” Quint opens his eyes and answers, “You still playing? I was almost asleep!” Because he opened his eyes, the score now stands: Quint – Zip, Miss Newton – One.
“I’ll show you who’s still playing!” Miss Newton yowls and dives into that exposed belly. “PPTHHPTHPFFTHPPPT!!! PPTHHhhhPPPpppTHPppppPPppFFfffTHPPPT!!!”
Our Kissing War Final score: Quint – Zilch, Miss Newton – Two, and the look on Quint’s face: Priceless!