Bloopers with Olivia.

Before we go to Olivia’s Bloopers, a quick note about last Wednesday’s Two Word Wednesday post, Viola still defers to her elders and Maxx got the kibble.

Olivia says: Today’s lesson is how NOT to take photos of bee-Yoot-iful black cats like me. My mom, well, she tries but more often than not, she doesn’t get it. She likes taking pictures but I think only so she’ll have something to do, by which I mean “downloading” stuff off her camera… stuff she ends up moving to the trash can. All that clicking, and for what?

Let me show you some of her “work.”

Not the most flattering photo - 2014 © Colehaus Cats

Not the most flattering photo – 2014 © Colehaus Cats

Surely, no one thinks this is a flattering shot? I suppose if I had thumbs, I could flick that itch away, but noooOOOOoooooo… someone has to have a camera nearby and *click* My tongue. On my nose. All over the Internets. Charming.

Where's the cat? - 2014 © Colehaus Cats

Where’s the cat? – 2014 © Colehaus Cats

Here’s one that should be entitled, “Photo Basics One-Oh-One: Be mindful of your background,” Subcategory: Be mindful of where your bright light is coming from, Sub-Subcategory: How not to photograph a black cat. Do I have a nose? A mouth? I have no mouth but I must scream… MOM! DO BETTER!

What subject matter? - 2014 © Colehaus Cats

What subject matter? – 2014 © Colehaus Cats

Oh, here’s a gem! I remember the day perfectly. It was a Thursday. 2:10 in the afternoon. Outside, a light breeze. Inside, I was putting serious loves on our nip nanner and mom pops around the corner and *click click*

As you can see, I remained the engaging subject, humoring her with her little “hobby.” But clearly the photo begs the question: Who is the subject here? That gorgeous, albeit somewhat washed out, supermodel loving up a nanner, or that doofy orinch cat on the poster behind me? And what’s with the angle? Everyone’s going to wonder why I wasn’t sliding across that tilted floor? Mom, this is wrong on so many levels!

Nice focus! - 2014 © Colehaus Cats

Nice focus! – 2014 © Colehaus Cats

Really, mom? This… Just… I… I… I have no words.

Feelings of the day - 2014 © Colehaus Cats

Feelings of the day – 2014 © Colehaus Cats

And as any good story should, we circle back around to the beginning with another “flattering” tongue shot. No eyes, no cute nose, just a black lump with a bit of tongue expressing the sentiments of the rainy day. Zero in on that tongue again, will you, mom? Well, phffft to you!

24 responses to “Bloopers with Olivia.

  1. Olivia, I have dozens and dozens of like photos in my library too! My old camera just cannot figure out how to zero in on Chucky’s wonderful black furrs, and my phone is only a bit better. As you say, location of the light is important, plus a kitty who isn’t moving helps too! And outside, Sweetie is almost always in bright sunlight, which makes the camera do crazy things. She often looks like a black blob in the middle of green…and a pink tongue! Sweetie dislikes the camera too, so I have to be fast and then take as many shots as I can, and usually throwing away (deleting) most of them. The camera LURVS Angel and Patty; cannot take a bad shot unless they move just as I ‘click’. However, none of this stops me for taking more, more, MORE photos!

  2. yep – mom has that problem with Mo too 🙂

  3. Olivia, our human LIKES these sorts of things. We get sketches too. Just act like you’re sleeping. She might go away.

  4. AIIIEEEE…looks just like photos Mom L takes of The Kid Sage

  5. Olivia it’s not just your Mom who posts bloopers our Mum is quite capable of doing it too. We just wish we had the chance to catch Mum at a silly time but of course she’s the one who edits the pictures as we’ve not got opposable thumbs.
    Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

  6. Yipes! I don’t even SEE the tongue in the last shot. Just a sleek black silhouette. TW is guilty on most of these charges and I’m not even black furred.

  7. Must admit your human needs a bit more practice what that camera. lol

  8. ah, olivia, don’t fret. we know human beans are not as talented as they need to be, in order to serve us as we deserve; we must make do. needless to say, our mommer has folders fulla less-than-optimal photos, too–mostly of us black kitties (iggy an’ dammitjim)–as it is well known that the beauty of black cats is ephemeral an’ difficult to capture. perhaps we should not blame the humans TOO much …

  9. Pawsome camera avoidance there. We think you have the art of making sure it bombs nicely done. The more frustrated they get the more they give up. Have a fabulous Friday.
    Best wishes Molly

  10. We black kitties are so hard to take pictures of 🙁

  11. Our mom has discovered what to do with these types of “crummy” photos…turn them into Caturday art. There aren’t too many photos of our angel sisfur, Thelma, because of her blackness. Black cats are a tricky subject. But Mom squeeed at that first tongue photo. Humans are funny that way. XO, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

  12. Black kitties are very hard to photograph ! Purrs

  13. Black kitties like you are difficult to photograph sometimes, Olivia!

  14. We’ll tell our mom about your tips–because she now has a black and white cat to photograph!

  15. I love the tongue shot!! But this mama understands how hard it is to photograph a beautiful black cat. Or any cat! Why do you guys move away when you give us a perfect pose!! Ah well. It’s all in good fun and lasting memories.

  16. The first photo is cute.

  17. Olivia…even your bloopers are great. You should see some of ours. 😉

  18. Olivia you are so right! Black cats are very hard to photograph though. I had my B.J. for 12 years so I know 🙂
    Marty’s Mom

  19. I kinda like da first one though, MOL!

  20. Olivia, thank goodness Mom has you to learn from! I do think that the first picture is cute. I live with a ginger boy and many of my pictures are less focused or composed than your Mom’s!
    p.s. Smart move Viola : )

  21. Dad says with black kitties, he always tries to focus on one of their eyes. Apparently, it’s the only thing he has found that consistently works. 🙂

  22. Miss Olivia, I so get it. Mom doesn’t do such a great job with me either… and yeah, I get photobombed by that “orinch guy” all the time… for reals. Sigh…
    Tipp

  23. Ah Olivia I feel your furred frustration. I think it is something about being a servant to a feline that causes these lapses in thought. I shudder when I think of all the shots we have of me or one of the family in an indelicate shot. I mean I am no prude but really…
    Timmy

  24. LOVE your bloopers Olivia <3

    XOXO