Before we go to Olivia’s Bloopers, a quick note about last Wednesday’s Two Word Wednesday post, Viola still defers to her elders and Maxx got the kibble.
Olivia says: Today’s lesson is how NOT to take photos of bee-Yoot-iful black cats like me. My mom, well, she tries but more often than not, she doesn’t get it. She likes taking pictures but I think only so she’ll have something to do, by which I mean “downloading” stuff off her camera… stuff she ends up moving to the trash can. All that clicking, and for what?
Let me show you some of her “work.”
Surely, no one thinks this is a flattering shot? I suppose if I had thumbs, I could flick that itch away, but noooOOOOoooooo… someone has to have a camera nearby and *click* My tongue. On my nose. All over the Internets. Charming.
Here’s one that should be entitled, “Photo Basics One-Oh-One: Be mindful of your background,” Subcategory: Be mindful of where your bright light is coming from, Sub-Subcategory: How not to photograph a black cat. Do I have a nose? A mouth? I have no mouth but I must scream… MOM! DO BETTER!
Oh, here’s a gem! I remember the day perfectly. It was a Thursday. 2:10 in the afternoon. Outside, a light breeze. Inside, I was putting serious loves on our nip nanner and mom pops around the corner and *click click*
As you can see, I remained the engaging subject, humoring her with her little “hobby.” But clearly the photo begs the question: Who is the subject here? That gorgeous, albeit somewhat washed out, supermodel loving up a nanner, or that doofy orinch cat on the poster behind me? And what’s with the angle? Everyone’s going to wonder why I wasn’t sliding across that tilted floor? Mom, this is wrong on so many levels!
Really, mom? This… Just… I… I… I have no words.
And as any good story should, we circle back around to the beginning with another “flattering” tongue shot. No eyes, no cute nose, just a black lump with a bit of tongue expressing the sentiments of the rainy day. Zero in on that tongue again, will you, mom? Well, phffft to you!